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Miles O'Brien

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[05 Dec 2003|07:55pm]
Well, here we are on DS9. On reflection, I felt I was more desperate to be needed here. Nobody really knew we were coming, so I haven't seen him anyone much yet. He's having sex, isn't he? He usually is.
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[19 Aug 2003|02:24am]
[ mood | confused ]

What on earth has been going on here? What's happening to Julian everyone? You turn your back for five minutes when your wife accidentally breaks the computer for several weeks, and when you come back all hell's broken loose! It looks like the Enterprise can't even maintain a basic android these days without disaster, although of course there may be perfectly good reasons for that, I'm not suggesting that I was indispensible or anything... just working away there in the background, hardly noticeable...

Anyway, what on earth is going on?

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[07 Jul 2003|10:27pm]

Things dull here. Promotion means embarrassing salary and nothing to do, but they insisted.

Ezri seems, um, distracted. I hope Julian is all right.

Keiko has killed all her plants in a weedkiller rampage. It is quite worrying.
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Back Home [14 Jun 2003|02:56am]
[ mood | melancholy ]

Well, Keiko and I got back safely and are back into our routine. They seem to want to promote me. I don't know why.

The children are a bit restless. I think they enjoyed being "home". I miss you all terribly too, but I think things are best this way.

I can't stay as I have to go and cook again.

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[22 May 2003|05:22pm]
[ mood | groggy ]

I think I may still be drunk.

Julian seemed very confused on his wedding night. I mean, more so than you'd expect even for a wedding night that you spent with your best friend rather than your wife. I'm still not entirely clear on that one, but he says it's a Trill custom. Funny that Ezri never mentioned it. Ever.

He didn't seem as euphoric as I'd dreaded have expected. In fact, he cried a bit on my shoulder and I was a pathetic mass of loneliness and pain and tension and longing quite worried. He drank quite a lot and so did I to try and conceal my pain and nervousness as company. He told me that he felt strangely alone and that he really valued our friendship and that I was a wonderful person, which was nice although I'd give anything for more than that, to hear him say that I mean just a fraction to him of what he means to me.

We were both really very drunk and I don't remember much after that although the strange yet glorious dreams I had seemed more than usually vivid but he seemed much better in the morning. Apparently I'd been restless in the night which is why my sheets were all tangled around me, and I'd overheated so I'd had to be undressed.

I must have been drunker than I thought, because I had lots of odd bruises.

Julian was strangely reluctant to leave. I gave him a supportive friendly desperately clinging hug, but he didn't seem to want to let go and see his wife. He left in the end but he didn't seem too happy. Maybe he was nervous.

God, I want him.

I must go and see how Keiko is.

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[14 May 2003|01:39pm]
[ mood | happy ]

He touched me... oh, how can I bear it?

My love friend and his lovely partner have had a beautiful baby. He has lovely dusky dark eyes. He will be called Benji. This is a good name. The captain is a very great man. Or Prophet. Or whatever he is. I'm still a bit confused.

Oh the anguish of seeing this little curly-haired ginger child that is the proof of something between them that I can never have...

It is all very nice.

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Exciting! [06 May 2003|01:01am]
[ mood | giddy ]

Soon he Ezri and Julian will be here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am as nervous as a schoolgirl, awaiting him, my love, my only. Only he could ever make me feel like this, as though my life hangs on his slightest whim, as though just one smile could justify my entire existence. very excited.

My wife is absolutely fucking furious a bit nervous. I think she worries about the housekeeping and such. Of course, the house is beautiful. Largely because I'm neurotically tidying out of excitement.

Maybe it's just as well that Ezri is coming. The way I feel, I could hardly restrain myself otherwise and, after all, maybe there was never really anything there and, even if there were, why on earth would he remember it now? I'm so dull, so easy to forget. It's ridiculous to think that someone like him could ever be mine. But just to see him is more joy than I can bear...

I wonder when they'll be here?


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Hello! [01 May 2003|06:40pm]
[ mood | impressed ]

Since my wife is out, much to my relief irritation, Molly and I are playing on the computer. and she wants to say something, don't you Molly?

Hello evryone. I miss you all espeshally Uncle Julian. I am very busy at school and I am learning the vierlin because Mummy said so. I do not like it. Daddy misses you too. Is Uncle Julian going to visit soon? I asked Mummy but she just got very cross. I love you. Bye bye.

Isn't she amazing? I pray that she isn't taken away from me.
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My wife has a LiveJournal! [30 Apr 2003|04:34pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

Oh shit!

That's nice.

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Worry [27 Apr 2003|06:29pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

My wife, whom I love, seems very moody anxious about something. She seems to think that I'm in some way "distracted", and has been sulking and glaring and scaring the children expressing her concern.

I hope she doesn't know about this journal. She'd actually literally kill me.

I am scared and want to flee to Julian's arms quite worried. I don't like to see her upset as I fear for my life as she's so sensitive.

God, I'm so unhappy. I'm living with a woman who barely wants to know me, lying awake every night in my single bed wishing that things could have been different, worrying that I just won't be able to take this for much longer.

Still, things are generally OK. The kids are fine and my job is soul-destroying nice and steady and useful.

I'm worried that I was just not attractive or exciting enough for him. He's so beautiful, so intelligent, so fascinating, and I'm just Good Old Miles. Maybe there was never anything there, maybe I'm just kidding myself, maybe he didn't mean what I thought he meant that time inside that man's brain. Not knowing is driving me insane.

Weather is nice.

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Isn't it great? [26 Apr 2003|01:30am]
[ mood | happy ]

I am overjoyed to hear that Julian and Ezri Dax are having a baby. I think it's wonderful. I can barely see through the tears. It hurts me more than I can endure.

I'm sure they will be wonderful parents and it will tear out my heart to see them together, to know that they have shared something that he and I, alas, never did. I was such a fool. A coward and a fool..

I hope they will be very happy together and now more than ever it torments me that I know I don't really mean that, that in my heart I would gladly see them separated if only it could mean that he could at last be in my arms, my fingers entwined in his soft dark hair...

Isn't it great? No really, it's great.

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My Lovely Wife... Thingy [20 Apr 2003|12:32am]
[ mood | happy ]

Ah, my wife. Yes, my wife. My constant companion who is always there all the time but who would kill me if she knew about this LiveJournal. How wonderful she is! How well she ensures that my life runs smoothly with no silly excitements to upset me and no contact with Julian, my Julian people who would have a bad influence.

Ah yes, my wife. I love my wife. I do. Really. I love my wife.


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